


eventual respite

by gabriphales



Series: gomens drabble hell [34]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Introspection, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, No Plot/Plotless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:14:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24061186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabriphales/pseuds/gabriphales
Summary: in which during their little spat over the antichrist at the bandstand, aziraphale finally loses his bearings, and admits a few things he wouldn't otherwise
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: gomens drabble hell [34]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664713
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	eventual respite

**Author's Note:**

> idnjejdd this is the product of depressive writers block lmao pls save me

his lips quiver, mouth pursed and chin furrowed as he tries to steady his expression. there's a stinging heat behind his eyes, slowly searing its way through his skull, budding in shiny rivulets. he doesn't want to cry. not right now, not with crowley here to _see._ but his stomach's boiling, bubbling overflowed, and his teeth won't stop grinding together, tight enough to make his gums ache, and he just wants to give up for once.

he's been trying so hard for so long. there's never time for a break amongst the members of the holy kingdom. nor for those who quietly, subtly rebel its legislations. aziraphale's tempted even now to take another peek at the sky, see how many eyes are watching - or if anybody's even really watching at all.

he isn't sure which one he'd prefer. complete lack of privacy, or utter isolation.

he can't lose crowley now. he can't lose the one person he still has. the _only_ company he'll ever maintain. he doesn't want to be alone again. he doesn't want to be alone with _them._

his own home seems impossibly daunting the closer it gets.

when crowley turns to step away from him, aziraphale can't help himself. his hand shoots forwards, gripping at crowley's wrist, and squeezing to the extent his gentle strength will allow. he has to get his point across. has to let crowley know how important his presence is.

his self-restraint crumbles slightly, and he clamps down just that little bit harder.

"i'm sorry," aziraphale chokes. "i-i'm sorry, i really am, i just - i need you to stay, please. please stay with me."

crowley softens. immeasurably so. aziraphale can see from the mellowing of his brow, the tight-lipped frown that relaxes itself into calm discontent. his hands cup at aziraphale's face, thumb stroking the wet aftermath of aziraphale's terror away.

"alright, alright." he croons. gently, low in his throat. "i'm not going anywhere love, i'm right here. right here with you."

"i can't - i can't tell you, it's far too illicit to be spoken aloud. but please believe me when i say i have more than enough reason to want to keep you at my side. for all eternity, if you'd oblige." aziraphale makes the quiet admission, begging, _praying_ \- though he's unsure of how much help she'll be - that crowley might understand.

and crowley - crowley's hands tremble. crowley's fingers tense beyond how aziraphale's ever felt them before. 

"do you mean it?" he says, breath heavy, subdued only to what he can manage.

"of course i do." aziraphale hazards the risk of tears once more. "how could i not? how could i ever do anything but... oh, i might as well - _love_ you?"

the world feels like it's already ended. aziraphale's finally ready to be honest with himself. but it's far too late now, they're so close to the edge of it, they'll lose each other before they even get the chance to acknowledge what's between them.

yet, with crowley's mouth pressing against his, silky sweet, like sugar melted in honey, aziraphale lets himself accept how things are right here, right now. with nobody else to interrupt them, nobody else to call the shots. he's safe, for however long they can consider themselves safe, and crowley's reminding him of that. crowley will always remind him of the ways he can protect himself, _save_ himself.

and maybe, just maybe, they still have a chance.


End file.
